Giving my last favorite cookie away, spending my last dollar on something for a friend so they are happy. Give, give, give.... yes it is great to have a tender, loving heart.
Some people take advantage of that and get everything they can from me and then not like me anymore because I have nothing to give.
But I am screaming yes I do. I can give you my humor, my love, my friendship but it is not good enough for you because you are use to only liking for the things I give you
I am dying inside at times. I look around and there you all are laughing with each other. having fun. don't I matter??? WHY?
I thought things were just things. they did not matter to me. or still do not. If they make you happy take it. I want happiness but I am here. I am alive do not ignore me. My mama did and still does. the hole in my heart is getting so big it is not going to work anymore.
PROMISES are always made but continue to be broken every time they no longer fit your needs or wants. My mama did and does.
Did I do something wrong for trying to have a good heart, good intentions. not wanting anything in return except kindness. I never got any from my mama.
I do not feel like myself anymore, I am becoming cold and callus, rude and resentful. I look in a mirror I am not me , I do not see me, I see everyone else, turn my heart soft again, I do not want a hard heart. the way my mama has her's.
No comments:
Post a Comment