Doing a lot of work in therapy and realizing my journey has really only begun.
Watching my friend's mother take care of her in the hospital while fighting an infection that has now taken her life, was the most breathe taking moments of my life. the love she showed. the decisions she had to make for her were heartbreaking yet so uplifting. it is so hard for me to say this but I learned so much about myself. I was jealous of my friend, not because she was so sick but that her mom was there every moment of her life. from the time she brought her in and now from the time she has left us. What I have learned all my old issues were brought up except for the fact I learned my issue is really about my mother abandoning me. she committed a terrible crime, went to prison for a very long time. got in trouble there and got sent to a max. prison. when she got out she never came to see me. She has blamed me and others for her crimes, attitudes and failure in life. well, I forgive her now, I made a wonderful family. a great friend system, and a zest for life. I believe she needs to forgive herself to be able to have any life. but I will not be in it.
